I Am Addiction - Anonymous

A client brought me the following essay. She found it on the internet—author unknown, or I surely would have gotten permission to reuse it. I am so moved by the way creativity has shown up. For anyone who has ever suffered from any form of addiction, please read and pass this along. If we can’t use blogs to help make the world a better place, why bother? If you’d care to share how this essay affected you, please e-mail me at the address below in the About Me section. I wish you health, well being, and a joy filled life.


I hate meetings…I hate higher power…I hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.

Allow me to introduce myself; I am the disease of addition. I am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That’s me. I have killed millions and I am pleased.

I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, haven’t I? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely?

When you wanted to die, didn’t you call on me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry, when you can’t feel anything at all. This is true gratification. And, all that I ask from you is long term suffering.

I’ve been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you.

Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life.

People don’t take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes, they take seriously. Fools. For without my help these things would not be possible.

I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace. More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12-step program. Your programs, your meetings, your higher power. All of these things weaken me, and I can’t function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here waiting quietly.

You don’t see me, but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I may only exist. But I am here…and until we meet again, if we meet again, I wish you death and suffering.